Twinning with Jones

I have a love hate relationship with Bridget Jones. I hate that she constantly has an amazing playlist and though complains about being overweight, doesn't actually talk about eating or food. I've had almost a full bottle of prosecco. I've also been eating for 2 days- including cookies, pie, turkey, mac n cheese, potatoes. Lots of potatoes. They's big right now. I'm trying to purge my closets. It's kind of working. I now just have a pile of 'maybes' on the floor. I'm swiping on tinder pretty hard but that could also be because I had a one night stand a few nights ago. My neighbors may be mad at me blasting music at midnight on Christmas, or maybe not. I'm going to the bar, fuck it.

I'm Getting Way Too Good At This

So, I got laid off again yesterday. Third time is the charm as they say. Today marks funemployment day 1 part 3. I woke up hungover on the couch at about 5am and then moved to my bed. I had a phone interview at 930a and then cancelled my in person interview for this afternoon because well, I couldn't leave my bed. I ate toast, grits and eggs. I love making my own brunch food. Mostly cause that's the only thing I can make. (emoji thumbs up) My goal today is to get coffee before the sunsets and I have exactly 13 minutes to do that. So here I go.

Squad

I have:
- a friend who just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years and dating for the first time in 11 years, and living alone for the first time ever.
-a friend whose an intern and on her 7th date with the same guy
-a friend whose  getting a mastectomy and has a boyfriend can't hold a job because of his pot addiction
- a friend whose been with her boyfriend for a year but doesn't want to marry him or be single and she was recently laid off but even more recently went to Australia with her boyfriend
- 2 friends who can't stop casual dating
-a friend who married her high school sweet heart when she was 27 years old and often thinks she made a mistake
-a friend whose been living with her boyfriend for 3 years and waiting for him to propose for 1 year

Saturday 2:13a

Today I worked from home was fighting a cold had a migraine had fall allergies had more than 2 glasses of wine last night and felt like crap so called in sick to work. I started the day off right with finishing last season of New Girl, answering some e-mails and eating an English muffin with almond butter on it. Tried to lightly toast it but my toaster hates me, so it was lightly burnt instead. I then napped for a few hours. Ordered Chinese food and ate the Chinese food. Watched The Help, again. Threw out my Chinese food even though I didn't finish all of it in the hopes to avoid two meals of Chinese food. Went to the hair salon at 6pm and became a blonde. Went home. Went back to the hair salon because I forgot the conditioner my hair dresser Andy strongly recommend I buy when he realized I didn't own conditioner. I returned home and continued watching New Girl. I watched about a half hour of tagged emotional The Voice auditions on the toiler and cried. I removed scone mix from my cabinet with every intention of baking. But didn't. Removed the Chinese food from my trash and finished the scallion pancakes that were still in their tin foil bag. Considered texting friends asking if it was OK that I was eating post trash Chinese food but then decided not to. Sent friends pictures of my new blonde hair instead. Got one positive reply. Considered texting that guy I went out on a semi good date with a week ago. But then remembered that I don't know what his name is and his arms are too skinny. Packed a bag of dirty laundry to take to my brother's house tomorrow today.